Home Love I requested individuals why they’re leaving Christianity, and right here’s what I heard – Baptist Information World

I requested individuals why they’re leaving Christianity, and right here’s what I heard – Baptist Information World

I requested individuals why they’re leaving Christianity, and right here’s what I heard – Baptist Information World

For a while now, Christianity has been on the decline. In response to a September 2022 Pew examine, individuals figuring out as Christian have decreased from 90% of the U.S. inhabitants in 1972 to 64% in 2020.

However it’s not simply researchers who’re speaking about this.

As of Dec. 6, 2020, the hashtag “#exchristian” had 696.7 million cumulative views on TikTok and was assigned to greater than 68,600 posts on Instagram. When wanting particularly at evangelicalism, the numbers almost double. The hashtag “#exvangelical” was considered 1.1 billion instances on TikTok and was assigned to 105,000 posts on Instagram.

Brandon Flanery

Individuals of all backgrounds are processing this nice exodus, discovering no matter assets they will, particularly through social media, to clarify this alteration. However how are pastors and church buildings reacting?

In a 2021 sermon, controversial pastor Matt Chandler known as leaving the religion “some horny factor to do.” He denounced the method of critiquing one’s childhood religion, saying, “For those who ever skilled the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ, truly, that’s actually unattainable to deconstruct from. But when Christianity is only a ethical compass, I completely get it.”

However is that this true? Are tens of millions abandoning their religion as a result of Christianity is “only a ethical compass?” As a result of it’s “horny” to take action?

A web based survey

To uncover why individuals are leaving Christianity, I went to those that would know: the individuals leaving. What follows just isn’t a typical randomized nationwide pattern; it’s primarily based on responses to a social media question with a big and various response.

Reaching out by various social media platforms, I acquired 1,200 responses to a survey that requested six questions:

  1. What existential framework have been you raised in?
  2. What existential framework do you end up in now?
  3. What initiated the change (the very first occasion the place issues started to shift)?
  4. What was the ultimate purpose you made the change (the straw that broke the camel’s again)?
  5. What does your present existential framework give you that your earlier one didn’t?
  6. What does your present existential framework not give you that your earlier one did (for instance: what do you miss)?

The place they’ve come from and the place they’re going

After receiving the open-ended responses, I went by and notated themes, coding them to create quantitative outcomes.

Right here’s what I discovered in regards to the religion traditions my respondents got here from and the way they establish at the moment.

After stripping out all respondents who didn’t have a religion origin of some taste of Christianity, I had 1,050 responses left. Of these, right here’s the breakdown:


After the respondents deconverted, existential frameworks grew to become way more various:

It’s necessary to notice that whereas many are leaving the religion altogether, there are nonetheless individuals remaining in Christianity, selecting a distinct denomination or utilizing language like “Jesus follower” moderately than explicitly figuring out as a “Christian.” Such a particular person makes up somewhat greater than 10% of these surveyed.

LGBTQ discrimination an enormous purpose

However what in regards to the greater query: Why?

Andy Stanley, pastor of North Level Ministries, one of many largest church buildings in the US, wrote and spoke about this query. He believes some causes embody that the Bible incorporates contradictions, that there’s struggling on this planet, unhealthy church experiences, unhealthy Christian experiences, and Christians could make church a few constructing moderately than a religion expertise. Whereas he did get a number of causes right, I believe Stanley can be stunned by what’s finally motivating individuals to deconvert from conventional Christianity.

Relating to the second individuals first started doubting their religion, LGBTQ acceptance is the most typical purpose, adopted by the habits of Christians, after which issues not making sense on an mental degree (an instance of this could be: I couldn’t reconcile how there will be an omnipotent God and evil).

Sure, a great variety of my respondents have been queer, and never being accepted by their congregations was a vital motive for leaving. Nonetheless, nearly all of respondents have been straight and cisgender, they usually finally began doubting Christianity after they have been informed they couldn’t help their queer family and friends. Unable to rectify their love of LGBTQ individuals with the church, they selected LGBTQ acceptance. Some responses:

  • “I couldn’t proceed to disregard the remedy of LGBTQ and different marginalized individuals.”
  • I began doubting due to “the best way the church handled individuals of the LGBTQ neighborhood and anybody who didn’t costume/suppose/act/seem like them.”
  • “I couldn’t perceive why God would create LGBTQ individuals in a type my church claimed he hated.”
  • “The very first thing that challenged my viewpoint immediately was assembly LGBTQ individuals and seeing that they have been variety, considerate and deserving of respect.”
  • “The very first thing was noticing how what Christians preached/practiced didn’t appear to align with that I knew to be the character of God, together with views on the LGBTQ neighborhood, immigration, adoption, psychological well being points, ‘mission work,’ and simply common remedy of others.”

The habits of Christians

Past the difficulty of LGBTQ inclusion, Stanley did get one factor proper: Many individuals object to the habits of Christians, and that’s not one thing new.

When writing a letter to C.S. Lewis about probably changing to Christianity, writer Sheldon Vanauken wrestled with this precise factor in his e book A Extreme Mercy:

The very best argument for Christianity is Christians: their pleasure, their certainty, their completeness. However the strongest argument in opposition to Christianity can also be Christians — when they’re somber and joyless, when they’re self-righteous and smug in complacent consecration, when they’re slim and repressive, then Christianity dies a thousand deaths.

Apparently, some issues by no means change — the habits of Christians is an enormous stumbling block for individuals coming to the faith and strolling away. Nonetheless, as an alternative of dying a thousand deaths, Christianity is dying tens of millions.

Trump: The final straw

To higher perceive why individuals are leaving, it’s necessary to have a look at the ultimate purpose, what the survey known as “the straw that broke the camel’s again.” Whereas a lot of the information stays the identical, it’s necessary to notice that one purpose moved from seventh place to 3rd: politics.

For a lot of respondents, politics is what lastly motivated them to go away Christianity. Particularly, many referenced the election of Donald Trump and the help he acquired from the evangelical neighborhood. Actually, the title “Trump” was talked about 81 instances within the survey responses as a key purpose somebody left Christianity. For instance, these have been some respondents’ experiences:

  • “A fruits of occasions over the course of some months beginning in the summertime of 2020. I had a battle with my father-in-law over the Accomplice flag being an emblem of racism, he stopped chatting with me for months and it grew to become a complete factor. The rise in glorifying Trump and fascism disguised as democracy.”
  • “Seeing so many family and friends that declare to like and comply with Jesus pledge their allegiance to nationalism and Trump.”
  • “The 2016 election. I needed nothing to do with a gaggle that supported Trump and his insane ideology below the pretense of religion.”
  • “Trump was the final straw for me. Seeing an individual who needs to be the other of what Christians are known as to be, being supported by evangelicals all over the place, actually woke me as much as some harsh American/conservative realities and the way we’ve bastardized Christianity like others earlier than to push not love or Christ however as an alternative Republican dogma steeped in racism, sexism and greed with the Bible as a manipulation instrument to get individuals to evolve to those specific beliefs that don’t have anything to do with the Gospels.”

‘They’ll know we’re Christians by our love?’

In the end, Chandler and those that comply with his teachings are fallacious: Christianity isn’t shedding followers as a result of leaving is “some horny factor to do.” It comes right down to how individuals are being handled, particularly marginalized communities.

These responses make me consider a Tweet by Caitlin J Stout, a lesbian Christian:


Christianity is a faith that boasts about its love, however individuals are not seeing it, they usually’re strolling out the door. With this in thoughts, it’s no surprise that loving and accepting individuals is the second Most worthy high quality individuals acquire after they go away Christianity.

I just lately spoke with somebody about my analysis, somebody who could be very a lot nonetheless in evangelicalism. After I confirmed him the outcomes, his response was, “It’s not shocking since God’s phrase warns us all about what is going to happen within the final days, however his remnant will hear and know the reality.” He then quoted Jude 1:17-19: “However you, beloved, keep in mind what was foretold by the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ after they mentioned to you, ‘Within the final instances there will probably be scoffers who will comply with after their very own ungodly wishes.’”


These knowledge inform me individuals aren’t leaving Christianity to dwell immoral lives. Sure, a number of individuals talked about they get to have premarital intercourse and do no matter they need, however that’s not the principle purpose.

I marked “freedom” as a class any time a respondent particularly used the phrase “freedom.” However freedom is at all times connected to motion. Freedom to dwell their very own lives. Freedom to have intercourse with whomever they need.

Whereas these solutions have been current within the survey, they’d have been assigned to 3 classes: “freedom,” “self-determination,” and “appreciation of physique/intercourse/feelings.” Nonetheless, the overwhelming majority of individuals linked freedom to like. Their phrases:

  • “The liberty to like and settle for anybody, no strings (aka ministering) connected.”
  • “Openness to simply accept different individuals from different religions with open arms and an open thoughts. Freedom to like any and all individuals regardless of their background or sexual preferences.”
  • “The flexibility to like individuals in a way more entire approach. I don’t have to hope for them and wish them to vary and I don’t have to evaluate them for the best way they dwell.”
  • “One of many teachings of our Bible is “who the Son (Jesus) units free is free certainly.” Works very nice as a church track or devotional content material. However I spotted once I opened as much as the chance that each one are welcome, actually all with no exclusions — the queer neighborhood, girls in positions of spiritualism management, different non secular traditions expertise God too, there are not any limits on God’s presence and the way that spirit strikes amongst us … — then I knew it. That was freedom and love and charm and kindness and all of the goodness of the God I had been informed about. It was all nonetheless there simply really, lastly free.”

The worth we pay: Neighborhood

In most of those responses, there’s a craving to do higher, to be higher, to like higher. However it looks as if it’s coming at a worth, and a steep one.

The ultimate query requested what individuals missed about Christianity. For a lot of, it gained’t be a shock that the No. 1 factor respondents listed was neighborhood, and by an amazing quantity.

Whether or not they talked about potlucks or shared worship experiences, peer and non secular help, and even household, leaving Christianity comes at a steep worth when relating to neighborhood, as individuals really feel deeply alone:

  • “I miss the neighborhood. I don’t have a single buddy from my church days. It might probably get lonely.”
  • “A localized gathering of likeminded people who help you. The reference to different Christians in your involvement at church/camp/and so on. was an enormous a part of my life. Discovering others who’re in an analogous place as you after deconstructing is sort of a breath of contemporary air however is considerably few and much between right here within the Bible Belt.”
  • “I don’t actually really feel like I can share my beliefs with anybody else, and my husband being an atheist makes me really feel uncomfortable doing any type of worship in my house. So I bottle all of it up inside and simply typically really feel awkward and alone on a regular basis.”
  • “A detailed-knit group of comparable minded individuals. I believe that is the explanation so many keep in church buildings and that perception system. It’s all their mates and social community and too exhausting and lonely to vary.”
  • “I actually miss the sense of neighborhood that I acquired from Christian church. I used to be capable of wrap most of my life up in no matter church I attended. I not solely attended Sunday providers; I used to be within the choir, I did VBS, I used to be in each youth group I might be. As a younger autistic child who had a tough time making mates, it was a lot simpler to bond with individuals over a shared love of God and of church.”

After a number of months of studying responses like these time and again, my coronary heart nonetheless breaks. There’s a deep craving for love in all these individuals — it’s the explanation they go away Christianity; at instances, it’s what they acquire. But in addition, it’s what they’ve misplaced.

We, as a species, want love and belonging, and it’s evident in each considered one of these solutions. And whereas Christianity is experiencing an exodus, it does supply some a degree of satisfaction to those human yearnings. However at what value? In the end, for a lot of, the price is just too excessive to pay.

Brandon Flanery is a signed author with Lake Drive Books and his sassy memoir about popping out of the closet and evangelicalism, Stumbling, will probably be obtainable in Spring 2023. He’s written for the Colorado Springs Indy and was an editor for the College of Colorado’s The Scribe. Observe him at BrandonFlanery.com or comply with on Instagram.


Associated articles:

These Christians are forsaking the church, however not their religion | Evaluation by Mallory Challis

Why I’m leaving my church: A theology of loss of life | Opinion by Keith Hovey

‘Deconstruction’ just isn’t a unclean phrase | Opinion by Andrea Huffman


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